When horny thoughts come up, acknowledge them briefly and then mentally set them aside. If sexual thoughts are making it hard to concentrate on the task at hand, these strategies can help you redirect your mind. Not sure where to start? Check out this guide if you have a penis, and this one if you have a vagina. It can help you get more comfortable with your body and learn more about how you like to be touched. Masturbation can have a lot of benefits, though, beyond sexual release. Gender-specific terms for genitals can also complicate masturbation for some transgender or nonbinary people if they feel somewhat disconnected from body parts that don’t match their gender identity. This could leave you with some feelings of shame or confusion around getting off. If you grew up thinking masturbation was sinful or didn’t hear much about it one way or the other, you probably never learned masturbation is both normal and healthy. For example, if you’re going to talk to a partner, write down the kinds of sexual activity you think about and might want to try. Talking to people you trust can be eye-opening, though, as you might find they have similar feelings (and maybe worry about the same things).īefore you talk to your partner or someone else, it may help to jot down some notes or review what you want to say. You should never feel forced to have conversations about sex. It’s not uncommon to completely avoid conversations about sexuality, horniness, and related topics, even with a sexual partner.
It can feel a little awkward to talk about sex, especially if you’re still adjusting to your sexuality. However, porn can be a safe (and healthy) way for adults to explore new interests and desires, so there’s no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed if it feels helpful to you. You don’t have to turn to porn for exposure - it’s absolutely possible to relate to sexy scenes that never get explicit. It’s not always easy to find content like this, but positive media portrayals of sexually empowered women and queer people are increasing.
Reading books or watching TV shows and movies featuring characters who have similar sexual desires to yours may help you feel a bit more comfortable.
But it’s important to accept them for what they are: a normal part of the human experience for many people.
There are certainly times when sexual thoughts can be frustrating or distracting (more on how to handle this later). Plus, 2016 research suggests that heterosexual women have more interest in sex than their male partners believe.